Che, are we quarreling?
Why do you say so?
It has been long we traveled.
Shh! It is not we, I travel, you follow me. You are just a bag.
Che, don’t insult me. I am much more than a bag. I am the evidence of the success of Afam Osigwe’s chaired 2023 ACG. The best in living memory.
You are a bag, what memory can a bag have?
You want me to tell them what you thrust inside me, whenever we are traveling?
There is no we. You are a bag and it is my wife that stuff you with whatever she feels I would need for safety.
I go talk about your safety gears oh! Bitter kola, turmeric, ginger. You often make me smell like a native doctor’s goatskin bag.
Those you mentioned, are local antibiotics, great washer. Every man must have them as journey companion. Bitter kola, is a wonder . Chop anything, just a tablet and you no go purge or be poisoned.
Che, make I no talk wetin you de wash. Just answer me, when we de waka again? All these nylons you keep here, are now thinking, me and them be local mates, only good to go to market, to buy snake meat.
We will go on the wagon again. People are hiding behind Christmas and New Year messages de declare their intention to contest this and that in NBA.
But you nko? Are all these our kurukere waka-waka, not aimed at something? Even Ajala published a book of his travels and made money from his Vespa, not forgetting he had more than one wife.
I beg you, you bag, don’t mention “more than one wife”, my wife has set up a spy ring, made up of KGB, CID, M16, MOSAD and DSS, to be coming through my Facebook posts, especially when I travel with you.
Oh! Che, is that why hotel soap them de give you, no de last?
For this, when next I travel with you, I will keep you at the reception, when I go to bath.
Che, if you like, use Aboniki do ablution oh or use lux wash your 3rd leg until it vomits, I care less, just take me out. Cum, let’s travel again. Your mates are already campaigning and you are here.
Oky, you win. We go cruise. We go start with Okey Ohagba’s mother’s planting. Who is who in Eastern Bar Forum (EBF), will be there. Deals will be made, alliances formed, betrayal consolidated into new political realities and those who are pretenders to the throne, will give way.
Che, are you saying Arsenal fans should not attend Okey Ohagba’s mother’s burial?
I beg you, na Gombe United, I de support. I no dey watch EPL. It is an imperialist tool to under-develop Nigerian league. And most people self, no de follow the games but na their best, their ticket, whether è go cut or not, be their interest in EPL.
So Che, what’s your interest in NBA? I mean in the forthcoming NBA Election.
My dear bag, take your tongue count the zip teeth before I unzip you. What-else are we good at, if not PUBLICITY?
Promise me, we won’t be sleeping in those N7,000 bedbug infested brothels. The smell of rat piss and cockroach urine, still de smell on my body.
Watch your mouth or you no go follow me again!
