Ugu Uzo 2022 Banter

Bro, you know that Popsy died of diabetic complications?

Yes, I know, his sugar went high and he entered coma and didn’t come back. So why this reminder?

The author, being decorated as Chief Oyinatumba;Otu Ji Obodo Abua Na Ebu 1 na Azara Ubo Autonomous Community, Emekuku, Owerri North, Imo State.

You are now an old man and a Chief. You must cutdown on sugary things; reduce beer intake. You have to be on the bitter lane of enjoyment.


Which one is Hmmm?

Bro, something must kill a man.

Yes, something must, but must you choose what will kill you?

Yes nah! It is better I choose than for death to choose for me how to visit me, since she must cum.

That reminds me. Chief, you have to mind your language. All these your Facebook posts must be in polished Queen’s English.

Queen’s English? I thought they now have a King and the King self, no sabi speak better English. Eliza had swag but this Charlie boy, na another thing. Eliza would have been happier, had Charlie died before her. She never wanted a known adulterous divorcee to sit on her throne.

That’s their headache. Just mind your language and tongue, you are now a prestigious personality in our community. You cannot be seen anywhere and anyhow.

Hmmm!! Eze no tell me all these oh!

Yes, he won’t, because there is nothing forbidden a Chief from eating but make sure you don’t have a gossip in your entourage, when you are eating or drinking whatsoever your heart finds joy in.

Hmmm!!! I thought you said I should abstain from sugary things because of diabetes that runs in our gene?

Yes. Just be careful.

But why are you bothered that I should be careful because I am in bondage by my gene and lineage that has imposed sickness on me?

I don’t understand.

CC Ashimole, the author’s father died at age 74 of diabetic complications

You want me to respect the sickness that is inherent but you don’t want me to respect the deity that is inherent in our family? A deity that served, protected and provided for us, making us the largest land owner in Azaraegbelu?

Please, leave me, I have gone to Church. You know I am a knight of the Catholic Church.

Bro, why not a Rev Father? You too like woman but, what is the difference between knighthood and Chieftaincy title? What’s the difference between your Rev Mbaka sanctified Holy Water and the one I drink from Onumurukwa?

PLEASE! STOP, I am a Christian Father, let them not see me and you talking like this. I have to receive communion on Sunday.

Wayo man. You are a Christian father; me too, I am a member of Eze’s Cabinet, a “Knight” of our Community and contributing to community projects and not sending money to Rome.

Chief Oyinatumba, I beg you, carry me come down and let us pretend not to be talking. You are making my heart and mind to want to begin doubting my faith.

Don’t worry, just pay for the drink, let us go to Nkwo Emeke for Ugu Uzo, the beginning of the Holy Month of Emekuku and New Year.

Chief Oyinatumba, Otu Ji Obodo Abua Na Ebu!!!

Na me. They use forklift to carry me. Welcome to Emekuku’s Ugu Uzo!

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