Dear Bishop.
What is it?
It is Agnes my wife.
How is she, it has been long she has not followed you to fellowship.
My Lord Bishop, your daughter Agie, wants to leave our marriage.
What? Tell me the full story, don’t lie to your father in the Lord.
My Bishop,
My wife is threatening to divorce me because she claims I am not licking her. I am amazed! We have been married for nine years with three kids and all she needs now is licking when we have responsibilities to handle. She never asked for licking while we had no kids or while we were dating.
I thought of licking, I introduced it because I felt our bedroom life was getting pretty boring. It actually was, so I had to think of something to revive it.
About two months ago, I read on some ways to spark our sexual life and one of the things I learnt was to lick my wife. She even said it was weird the first day I had wanted to try. I had to force her for minutes before she finally allowed me.
Well, I wish I never introduced it or forced her when she declined the idea. Every minute I spend at home, I have to lick my wife. Small thing you’ll hear “Honey, come and lick me”. Every second ‘lick me’.
The moment the kids are out of the house, “Honey, come and lick me now, they are gone”. I don’t even want to be alone with her anymore. I am even scared to go home these days because the moment I arrive like this; we are going to argue about licking.
She wants it and I am not ready. Sir, it’s not like she even gets satisfied oooo, she can insist I lick her from bed time till the next day. She will grab my head and be pushing it down her v-jay as if she wants me to vanish into her or something. She will cum multiple times and still be insisting I do last one.
It really became irritating so I told her I will never do it again and now; she is asking that we divorce or I resume licking her. I don’t know what she means by we should divorce because this is something she didn’t ever taste until just recently and now she wants to destroy all we’ve built over the years for it.
She is divorcing me just so she can have another man lick her. How does this make sense?
I feel licking has a spiritual factor because my wife used to be very reasonable. Please help me out, I need her back to her senses please. Her sanity matters to our family.”
Young man, you have no problems, just leave and go wash plate.
Make sure you rinse your tongue with something minty before you start licking. Also keep a bottle of warm honey close by. You must alternate between cold and hot. If you have ice cream, the better. Start from her temples, those two beautiful mountains like Zuma rock and trickle down to her holiest of holies. Then come back to me in two weeks, we will talk.
My Lord Bishop, let me go in peace and use this prescription.
