9 Tips On How To Survive Your Village People This Christmas

If you are going to your ancestral home town, far from the city centre, note he following, they  will save your life;

1.Have a budget before you board that bus to your village.
Stick to this budget and resist temptation to dip into what you had set aside to pay your bills in January 2023. It is Christmas and not your funeral or wife’s birthday, be prudent.

2. Escape Route:
Once you land, set aside your transport fare back to the city.
Don’t give your girlfriend to hold for you. Give it to your mother, if she is alive or book return before you set sail for the village or you may sell your phone, necklace, to be able to come back to the city.

3. Recharge your phones:
Before you depart to the village, recharge your phone with airtime and data. Make sure at least one person knows where you are going.By this time of the year, network is horrible in villages with palm tree obstructing reception. Recharge card sellers in most villages, add N20, N50 to cards they sell.

4. Your Health:
If you are hypersensitive or diabetic take your drugs that will last the duration of your stay. Avoid mixing your oyibo medication with herbs. There is no deity that will cause you to have stroke.

5. Watch what you eat & where you drink:
You have left he village for more then 6 months. Your diet has changed. Don’t out of longer throat, join villagers to eat everything that you used to eat as a small boy. Don’t have a regular, predictable drinking joint. Be flexible. Food poisoning, is different from being poisoned.

6. Dress moderately;
Although they want to see that their children who went to the city, are doing better than those left behind in the village, don’t rob it in. Be humble that your god has elevated you out of village poverty.

7. LEAVE Village girl alone;
If a village girl says NO, while looking back, please leave her and don’t press any further or try to by force escort her to wherever she claims she is going. If you are told that this girl belongs to that dirty boy, just leave her alone or you may not come back to the city in one piece.
Well body no be fire wood and if you must fire, go outside your village or nearest brothel to do, fine boy, see mail hang your cloth. Make sure as you hang your cloth, you wear condom.

8. Avoid Politics:
If your ancestral home is anywhere in South East, avoid expressing any political opinion at any beer parlor, even if you are the one buying the palm wine. Don’t talk about IPOB, Sit At Home, Atiku, Tinubu, Peter Obi or Hausa-Fulani. Just concentrate on how to get everyone involved in community projects.

9. Be generous but don’t give anybody cash;
Buy them drinks, food. If any complains of sickness, send such to the village doctor-Chemist for treatment and transfer money to the Chemist.

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