Like every other part of Nigeria, Kubwa has its fair share of uneven electricity distribution. Most part of Kubwa we visited, are in pit darkness and the noise of generators melodiously added to the night sound of Kubwa. This darkness, is adding heavily to the running cost of business in Kubwa, especially recreational centres that provide all night entertainment.
The best way to move around Kubwa at night, is Okada. These dare-devil riders, know which joint has what and where one can get good night bargain with reasonable budget. But make sure the Okada you want to use for your night adventure, understands passable English.
We started our night crawling adventure from Jiepee Guest House Kubwa Village. For more apt description, it is in Woman Boku/Arsenal Guest House area of Kubwa.
True to their motto, “a local place for your comfort”, they offered local comfort. One of the Kubwa Ward candidates, a son of the soil, Hon. Adamu Shekwoyan, was holding his campaign meeting there. Since this night isn’t a night of political rallies, we took off.
On our bumpy ride to Yellow Page, we peeped into Leisure Palace and De White Guest Inn on Dogondaji Street. The night nurses have lined up in different micro mini apparel of seduction, exposing suffocating breasts in undersized bras, the wear and tear of the trade on them, caked over with heavy makeup and consciously, they stood on the shadows, so that unsuspecting horny customer will not guess their age and wealth of experience in this trade. The high life music is loud and we saw young men like fugitives looking left and right before sneaking in.
Our Okada landed at Yellow Page, the paradise of fish in Kubwa. The celestial light from St. Bartholomew Cathedral, gives one a feeling of the reality of Heaven and Hell, with a chasm-road separating the two. We hurriedly left but not first without consuming the well roasted fish, garnished with Irish potato, carrot and cabbage. Yellow Page maintains its fame as the place in Kubwa to get cheap, well prepared fish. Beer at Yellow Page, is not mortuary standard and their service is not top notch. If you can endure, you will get to enjoy good fish.
Being an old timer in Kubwa, we decided to go and check on Roop Hotel, opposite abattoir. The glory has departed from Roop, it lies desolate like Ignobisi.
Ignobis was once the heart of entertainment in Kubwa. But a visit tonight, left nothing to be desired. It is still trying to compete but the low budget sisters hanging around, makes it difficult to be a choice place on Gado Nasko road.
The most happening joint on Gado Nasko road, is Glass Top lounge. It is new, the vibe is good but their waitresses are overwhelmed by the crowd and it affects time of delivery. Their beer when it arrives, is cold and the apology from their waitress, makes you forget the wait and how long it took you to get a seat.
Another fine joint on Gado Nasko road we visited, is AJ’s. The ambiance is good, the DJ on top of his game but its closeness to the road, makes parking a nightmare for its patrons. Their vegetable chicken is a delight and worth being wrapped as takeaway. Once you’re home with this, madam will forgive you.
The baba of all the joints on Gado Nasko road we visited, is Soul lounge, near Ecobank. Never tell your wife you know here.
Apart from Liberty Hotel Arab road, no other joint can compete with Soul lounge in terms of the number of fleshes in display. Steadily, Soul lounge has one show or the other every weekend. The grand finale of this weekend activities, is pool party on Sunday.
Their beer is relatively cold, the service good and the organized rowdiness is entrapping.
Liberty Hotel Arab road, is one of the oldest joints in Kubwa. It has a live band performance every Friday and unlike other centers of fleshly attraction, the sisters here comport themselves well, add a little shakara to the trade.
Godfather, at the foot of the Dantata estate end of the railway bridge, is a bubbly place but a choice destination of youngsters in Kubwa, Chikakwere and Byazhin. Older patrons, who enjoy to ogle at youngsters and remember when Obi was a boy, were also seen at Godfather, sipping their spirit mixed with soft drink, with girls young enough to be their granddaughters laughing at their dry jokes.
Services at Godfather, are above average, the waitresses are courteous. Their room rates are affordable for quick rest and any other desires after alcohol has hit the spot.
NINA Hotel, on Blessed Chapel road opposite General hospital, is a lovely place. It is a complete entertainment centre. 
Apart from the open air bar, its sports facilities are open throughout the night. You can exercise and drink or drink and watch those playing either Snooker, lawn or table tennis and volleyball. NINA is a place for complete family hangout without fear of any sister calling you “customer” to the hearing of madam. As a policy, the Management disallows any loitering and soliciting by sisters. Throughout our stay at NINA, no sister was seen. Tonight, a Kubwa upcoming comedian, is thrilling the guest.
Apart from these established joints, Kubwa has local content centres. They are majorly unstructured and located under trees. At these local content centres, alomo, rizla, cigarettes, herbs and roots are the top choice.
There are also joints, whose operators merely converted their front yard into service area. We saw these joints littered around PW and Phase 3. If you patronize them, the drowsy looking man you’re buying beer for, often times, is either the husband or man-friend of the woman running the joint.
Our movement round Kubwa tonight, shows that there is no dull area in Kubwa.
Night crawlers have favorite spots and gradually gravitate to them. Some like the lousy services of some areas, others like joints close to the gutter with native village setting, while others prefer well air-conditioned lounge and their exotic prices per can of beer.
We tried getting into strippers club but thought twice. With the level of alcohol we have consumed and not in control of our 3rd leg, we are afraid what may happen, if lap dance was wriggled at us.
See you next week, when we tour night clubs in Kubwa.
