In a society like Nigeria’s, where communal relationships and friendships are deeply valued, it is disappointing, even disturbing to observe a growing trend among political office holders: the abrupt abandonment of long-standing relationships once they assume public office. This attitude, often cloaked in feeble excuses and misplaced justifications, is not only a betrayal of personal bonds but a reflection of a deeper character flaw that undermines trust, loyalty, and humility.
From State Commissioners to Federal Ministers, many once-accessible individuals become unreachable the moment the oath of office is taken. Phone calls go unanswered. Text messages are ignored. Invitations are declined without courtesy. Visits are discouraged. Friends and loved ones, who stood by them in the trenches, are suddenly treated as distractions or worse, liabilities. The shift is as swift as it is disheartening. This behavior is not just poor manners, it is an aberration.
Friendship is Not a Threat
One of the most common excuses given by these office holders is the need to “focus on work” or “avoid being distracted.” But real friendship is not a distraction. True friends are not saboteurs. They are not opportunists. They are the ones who supported you before the title, before the convoy, before the photo-ops and flashing cameras. To treat them as threats or burdens once you attain power is an act of betrayal that says more about your own insecurity than about their intentions.
In reality, those who cut off genuine friends are often more vulnerable to sycophants and opportunists. The court of power is rarely short of praise-singers and flatterers, but it is authentic friends who speak the truth, especially when it is uncomfortable. It is these same voices that many office holders choose to silence or sideline.
The Myth of “Being Too Busy”.
Another common excuse is: “I’m too busy.” While it is true that public office is demanding, busyness is not a valid justification for total disconnection. A 10-second return call, a simple acknowledgment of a message, or a polite decline of an invitation is not beyond the reach of even the busiest official. It’s a matter of respect.
It’s a matter of priority. And more importantly, it’s a matter of character. Busyness is often a mask for a subtle superiority complex,the belief that one has somehow “outgrown” their former circles. That, now with access to the corridors of power, only certain associations are worthy of time and attention. This attitude is not only arrogant but also short-sighted.
Power is Transient.
Political office is temporary. Today’s commissioner is tomorrow’s “former commissioner.” The title fades, the cars stop honking, the calls stop coming and what remains is the legacy of how you treated people when you had power. Will your friends remember you with admiration or resentment? Did you honor relationships or discard them?
Many former office holders return to private life only to realize that they burned bridges they now need to cross. They find themselves isolated, distrusted, and irrelevant not because they failed in office, but because they failed in friendship.
An Admonition to Public Office Holders.
To those currently serving in public office, this is a call for introspection. Power should not corrupt your sense of loyalty or humanity. You are not too important to return a friend’s call. You are not too busy to check in on people who genuinely care about you. You are not above the relationships that shaped you.
Let your tenure be marked not only by the policies you made or the positions you held but also by the people you uplifted, the friendships you maintained, and the humility you displayed. Leadership is not about cutting people off it’s about lifting people up.
Do not let the office become a prison of ego. Rather, let it be a platform for kindness, empathy, and connection.
Conclusion.
The abandonment of friends and loved ones by some political office holders is a shameful deviation from the values we hold dear. It is an aberration that must be corrected. Our leaders must remember that relationships are not seasonal accessories but lifelong treasures. Power should not poison the character. If it does, then we must question the kind of leaders we are producing and the kind of society we are becoming.
Written by Christopher Eichie, an Abuja based Legal Practitioner.
